Thursday, January 10, 2013

WELL DRESS ME UP AND CALL ME SALLY...



I gotta tell ya this is definitely something that I never saw coming, nor would I have ever thought that it would have even been possible. But, as they say truth is stranger than fiction, and so it is then that we have a rapist who has now been named as being "Father of the Year." So even though we're less than two weeks into 2013, the National Father's Day Council has already bestowed the title of 2013 Father of the Year upon none other than ex-president, and well-known serial rapist, 'Slick Willie' Clinton. Imagine that! Admittedly the award does seem to be a bit of a head scratcher because the Chappaqua resident's only 'known' child, Chelsea, is a married 32-year-old woman who hasn't lived at home since she moved away to college in 1997. Which would have been just a few months before most Americans first heard the name Monica Lewinsky. You remember her right? And how about "BJ's" other 'victims, Juanita Broaddrick, Jennifer Flowers and Paula Jones to name just a few others.

Still, I suppose, even those with grown children can be considered as being doting dads. However in Clinton's case he's probably doing nothing more that to use his daughter, Chelsea, as a means of trolling for likely candidates who might be willing to take part in some his rather perverted, how shall I say, preferences. After all, how many can say that they've gotten on their knees in front of an ex-president? Anyway 'Slick' did call the walking of Chelsea down the aisle during her wedding in Rhinebeck as being the "most important job" he has ever had, although that job was back in 2010. During his years in office, 'Slick' also had two four-legged babies: There was Socks the cat, who was given away to a staff member and then later euthanized, and Buddy the dog, who died after being hit by a car in 2002. However, knowing the rather lewd escapades of the ex-president as we all do, the poor dog probably just couldn't take the embarrassment any longer of being Clinton's dog and simply committed suicide.

In a 2001 interview on the cable news network named after him, the Clinton News Network (CNN), the 'Slickmeister' admitted he had a hard time raising the pets. "I did better with the Palestinians and the Israelis than I have done with Socks and Buddy," is what he told CNN. The awarding council, a not-for-profit group that first gave the award out to Douglas MacArthur in 1942, states on its (super official-sounding) website momanddadday.com that the award is given to "contemporary lifestyle leaders" who have shown dedication to family, charity and civility. Charity and civility, they're joking, right? "With the profound generosity, leadership and tireless dedication to both his public office and many philanthropic organizations, President Clinton exemplifies the attributes that we celebrate through the Father of the Year award," Dan Orwig, chairman of the National Father's Day Committee, said in a release. Come on, they can't really be serious, can they? Really?

In announcing 'Slick' as being the recipient of the 2013 award, Dan Orwig, chairman of the National Father's Day Committee, put it like this, "With the profound generosity, leadership and tireless dedication to both his public office and many philanthropic organizations, President Clinton exemplifies the attributes that we celebrate through the Father of the Year award." Supposedly the ex-president is being honored for his work through the William J. Clinton Foundation "to improve global health, promote healthier childhoods and protect the environment" and for bringing "global leaders together to work on the most pressing issues," at least according to the committee's statement. Well gee, that kind of puts everyone who hasn't got their own 'Foundation' or a couple hundred million bucks at a pretty severe disadvantage, don't you think? And realistically speaking, what has 'Slick' or his silly 'Foundation' really accomplished other than to make him rich?

But quite honestly, when looking back at who this organization as picked as being past "Father of the Year" recipients this list is a rather strange one, and one that includes many that I'm sure old 'Slick' will be quite comfortable in amongst. The list includes New York City Mayor Michael "Mr. Mom" Bloomberg, New York Governors Andrew 'Anti-Gun Nut' Cuomo, and his rabid progressive dad, Mario. Also included on this rather bizarre list is Bing Crosby, whose eldest son wrote a tell-all book chronicling his father's physical and mental abuse. Being what I consider a pretty good dad, what we have here is a list that if I were ever be selected to be added to, I would, and very politely, decline. I just wouldn't feel comfortable even being mentioned as being a member of this rather unique cadre of very sleazy characters. But I don't think I'll ever have to worry about that, because judging by the other recipients, there's no way that I possess the 'qualities' that this group seems to be looking for. Whew!

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